the best
I dreamed that a certain influential (but now questionable) figure from my childhood and I were catching up at a big outdoor reunion-type event. He was sort of doing something and I was sitting doing something else at a picnic table with some friends of mine. Maybe we were preparing a meal. Who knows. In any case, he and I were chatting over a din of other socialization taking place around us.
So I say to him (because in the dream he has two elementary-school age sons and a newborn daughter): “So… how many kids do you have now?” He says, “Fifteen that I know about.” I slyly say something like, “Oh really?”
I meant to be joking back, but part of me thought that this could be true. I sort of jokingly inquired about who the mothers of these children were. This conversation took place in front of my whole group of friends, some younger people, and possibly the current students he was working with. He very frankly, somewhat distractedly but with a big smile, said something to the effect of, “Oh, when I was younger I was a teacher in a public school. I taught eighth, seventh and sixth graders. It may have been one of a number of sixth grade students whom I fucked and impregnated.”
There was a silence during which I balked, and so did everyone around me (including C———, R———, and whomever else was sitting at the picnic table with me). My skin totally tightened and I took a quick, deep breath. I knew he was joking, but I couldn’t believe he was making the joke.
What I choked out in response was: “That’s the best!”
I meant this in a buddy-buddy, joking-back sort of way, but everyone who overheard could tell how awkward I felt and they also probably wondered if there was a bit of truth to the statement. The silence ended and people went back to what they were talking about, and I struggled to resume the conversation, but quickly excused myself soon after.
I went to find K——-. She had heard the conversation. She was wearing an outfit that was a combination of what each of us wore on Mermaid Day (I.R.L). She and I gave each other a look that clearly meant, “AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!” We laughed and went off chatting in disbelief.
Also in this dream: I regretted moving to California because I began missing everyone, hardcore. Mary lived in Bushwick now. Joanna lived in Park Slope. Leslie was there. In the dream I missed all of them a lot. We were hanging out after some event and trying to decide whose house to go to. Also at this time I realized that Courtney Love was my acquaintance through Cake Shop and that I should have tried to hang out with her more when I’d had the opportunity.
