January 2012
2 posts
Sun Slut Super Suit
The waiter asked if he could get me anything. I ordered a Sun Slut Super Suit.
guacamole cookies
right before i woke up i was on the top floor of a tall building, which for some reason had a freight elevator. i was trying to get the elevator to stop where i needed it to get on. the lever was so sensitive that the elevator kept swinging up and down too far. like way far. a couple of times it crashed into the top of the shaft and swung back down. i was carrying a ream of letter paper and...
December 2011
6 posts
not Sungirls again
The creator of the musical Annie, which he had based on his own life, was trying to pitch an early version of Annie, called Sungirls to the faculty of a high school where he worked. The teacher, transgendered, was wearing a shawl and a dark, wavy wig. The musical deciding board groaned when he showed them drafts of the programs for Sungirls. “Not Sungirls again!” “You’re...
strict cashier
At a Whole Foods type grocery store, cashier Julie D. won’t let me buy sour gummy straws because they’re made with “bikini oil.” I try to sneak a pack past her but I can’t— she’s the damn cashier.
ashley olsen control
I was hanging out in MP’s room. There was a little black remote control with that said “ashley olsen” on it. There was one red button on it, about the size of a nickel. I pressed it. Ashley Olsen, around four years old, came leaping out from behind a bookshelf and jumped into my arms.
Later, M asked about the graphic novel I was working on, “Lullaby in Perkistan.”
early batman
I was batman, but at the start of his career before he was good at being a crime fighter and maybe a little stupid.
I was on some giant jet ski thing and pulled up to this little boat with a wheel house that was anchored not far from this big oil rig type thing. It was night time and pitch black with a little fog. In my mind the oil rig thing was a base of operations for some dangerous drug...
from josh
jenn, kate & yoko drive a classic cerulean convertible down a frozen river. a crack in the ice engulfs it, jky in bikinis swim safely to shore.
tail hug
I was watching a play. Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey (or rather their characters from Beaches) had stepped in on the day of the show to replace the main actors who had just quit. It was very lucky because they really were perfect for the part. The director had wanted people who could seem “very intimately close friends.”
I was amazed at how fast they had learned the parts, and I...
November 2011
3 posts
interview with the allergic baby debutante
I dreamed that I was talking to my chorus director at a gala that was to honor him and the chorus. He seemed more personable and less distracted than usual. We were in a discussion with another person about the effect he’s had on children’s lives vs. the effect that JK Rowling has had. I told him that I thought both were impactful, but his was much more unique and long-lasting. He...
mini kangaroo vs. fox
i was in my bedroom hanging out with a mini kangaroo. it was about the size of a milk crate, and there were 3 even smaller baby kangaroos in the pouch! then a regular sized fox came along and it was trying to get the babies! so i was pushing the fox away with my arm and it was biting me, but it didn’t hurt because i was wearing a hoodie.
then my friend rosimer called from the front desk at...
head girl
I dreamed that there was a falafel place that served lavash wraps and they had a pretty good chickpea wrap. Jenn Kelly worked there for a bit, or she was telling me a story in which she had but had been fired. She said that while she worked there they told her as a compliment that she was a “head girl” meaning she interacted well with customers. She said that everyone who worked there...
October 2011
7 posts
paul reiser
In real life we watched Alien and Aliens last night.
So I dreamed that I was helping out this little girl who may have been Newt from the movie. She was in a hospital situation and this lady who in my mind looked like Queen Latifah (but in my memory not really at all) was helping her out. The lady was a nurse and was really nice to her and Newt had made all of these animated gifs on a blog and...
Easy Pieces
I was in a clothing store. Someone told me to go into an adjoining clothing store and ask for “Easy Pieces”. I walked over there thinking how popular the expression “easy peasy” had become. The saleslady pulled out “Easy Pieces” so I could take a look. It was the coolest thing around, apparently. She said it cost $2,000. It was an ugly, floor length denim skirt,...
Standing Room Only
The Happy Rappies (I think. Could also have been CPP. A Chris Andersen fronted band.) were mounting a highly produced Broadway style revue. It was AWESOME. The music was great, with hilarious, ironic cues; there were cool stage effects, the most impressive one was an invisible sort of Aggro Crag mountain thing that Chris and the company could climb around on. Since the mountain was invisible it...
pencils
Sara and I showed up at a party in an apartment/loft building, and Julie and Xty came down to answer the door. X was so high she could barely carry on a conversation. I wrote her a message on her face. Julie had a copy of a yearbook where people had written quotes to her and for some reason I looked inside expecting my quote to be in there instead of on X’s face.
Then we were upstairs and my...
a long one.
It started with Andrew getting back from vacation. Instead of lending our guitar to Jeff our roommate (like in real life), we had lent it to Andrew H and we encountered his luggage, guitar included, in a subway station. We started walking away with it (half thinking he was kidnapped, half thinking it would be funny to hide with it until he returned) when he came breathlessly running and said...
from josh
i was wild flag’s bassist.
September 2011
5 posts
naked pecan image projector.
sara had a dream that ben (your ben, josh!) got a gift from his family. it was a projector that only projected images of pecans. sara was sleeping in bed in a guest room at your house and it was late at night, and ben came home late from work. he pulled out the present from a cabinet to show her and started putting it together. he explained, “it’s up to you how naked you want them to...
sara woke up with this phrase in her head...
“This is to show you how cool I can be WITHOUT pubiatism.”
It was me who said it. I was doing some kind of hip stretch.
the larger rusp
dreamed this sentence: “_______ only indicated a little book as she made her way towards what was to become the larger rusp of her family.”
sentence from the other night's dream
“This is a suicide. So can you see the suicide scent?”
puffy paint maps by christy davis
i was in the elevator with my mom, charles, some friends of theirs, and sara. i think it was the elevator of my childhood home but fancier. in the dream we were returning from a trip or some big event, wearing fancy clothes and pulling rolling suitcases, and it was late at night. the friends were staying at our house. i was thinking of how sara would get home after we dropped off all my stuff and...
August 2011
8 posts
tornado!
I dreamed that I was on a beachfront with friends and family, where we had some beachfront bungalow. It was pretty shacklike but super quirky and with lots of character. Like, part of the house was constructed from a gift that some people had given me which was basically a giant art piece that was a corner of the front of the structure with painted panels and objects glued upon it, drawings, and...
Had a dream I was in a focus group in a hotel room that involved me playing an Internet user and three other people sitting in a circle with me embodying different web browsers — American, British, and Canadian browsers. The one from Canada was playing a browser named Vancouver. He got very fretful and jealous when I didn’t pay enough attention to him, and when I wasn’t using the...
bitches and tomatoes
I was at some fancy venue setting up to play with Dream Bitches, and for some reason Milena was playing 2nd guitar this time. The venue actually didn’t look that fancy — it was in a building that reminded me of a place from my childhood, like Children’s Aid or the 92nd St Y — but the cover was $7. The stage was very high, the floors were linoleum, the lighting was a soft...
Astronaut Wednesday
A glassy apartment building next to the ocean. There’s a rope and harness set up so people can safely leap out a window and swing around. One older lady leaps harder and farther than anybody, eventually swinging up high enough to grab onto the bar in place for advanced leapers. Even then, she keeps trying to top herself on the leap. Finally, she leaps so hard that the rope swings her up onto...
scary movie and bad teens
I was watching a scary movie with my family. There were a few sequels that you had to watch to end the ordeal. It had something to do with a small filthy child who spun in slow circles and threatened everyone who was watching the move. The child wasn’t exactly evil, it was more like he was scared and needed help.
There was something famously jewish about the movie. I tried to text meredith...
flowers
I dreamed that my dad dealt psychedelic flowers and lettuces.
Help!
Standing n a beautiful field on a sunny day surrounded by people recreating and talking. One lady is standing in the middle of the field next to a short, normal looking guy in a gray jacket. She’s yelling, Help! I really need help! Won’t somebody please HELP ME! The guy appears unconcerned. I take a running start and try to kick the guy in the chest. I’m not so effective. The guy...
rooftops, etc.
I dreamed that I was in a play which I played all of the characters. The ending of the play was a quadruple-suicide in which four of the male characters jumped off a tall building in a specific order and died. I stood at the top of a ladder and gave an unscripted closing speech as I tried to remember which character died first. Then I jumped down 13 stories, which seemed to happen in slow-motion....
July 2011
10 posts
hamster butt
jade: i had this dream, where i was walking down the street out of this summer camp, and it was automatically nighttime even though when i walked in a few minutes ago it was in the morning. it was a really cold night even though it was summer, and i got on this bus, and there weren’t any people on the bus. it drove me back to the summer camp, and the sign that usually says “valencia...
new cake shop #2
another dream about a new cake shop (which is funny because there is probably going to be a new one sometime next year here in sf), in which they asked me how i liked the design of the new bar, which was half boring white rectangular tile and half old, nice tile. i said what i thought. the old nice tile reminded me of an old public school. then i realized that the new cake shop was in my old...
the best
I dreamed that a certain influential (but now questionable) figure from my childhood and I were catching up at a big outdoor reunion-type event. He was sort of doing something and I was sitting doing something else at a picnic table with some friends of mine. Maybe we were preparing a meal. Who knows. In any case, he and I were chatting over a din of other socialization taking place around us.
So...
disco party / expensive peach
Jade:
“I dreamed I was at this disco party, in the eighties, and this random rap guy came in, and then I realized that he was Bob Marley.”
Me:
I dreamed that I was with my friend Alex M. from high school. She took a bunch of peaches from a business that our friend owned, thinking it was OK because we were all friends and peaches aren’t too expensive. Then I took one. The skin...
from Nicole
#1. My co-worker stole a pink clutch handbag and asked me not to tell anybody. I made a big deal out of telling her I wouldn’t tell anybody then I went and told everybody.
#2. I found a house on Craigslist that I wanted to move into in Portland but when I went in to check it out, it seemed like it was abandoned years ago. It was pretty gross. Every room had a gigantic jacuzzi style bathtub...
people with bunions
My sister had a dream that her class went on a trip to a pool. People were looking at each other’s feet.
Someone asked, “How come people with bunions are always looking at my feet?”
hi number three
in real life just now:
me: aaaah! you’re cute (giving sleeping sara a hug)
sara (sleeping): hi, number three!
me: what?!
sara: there’s number three on that piece of… oh, i’m dreaming.
From Nicole
I should have mentioned this earlier today but I just remembered. Last night there were dinosaurs walking through town in my dream. Nobody was scared. Everybody just knew they would walk by eventually. I guess it was something that happened once in a while. This is an interesting coincidence because I went to the natural history museum today and I saw some dinosaurs.
new cake shop
a new cake shop opened not far from the old one.
me and joanna and nan and rebecca keith and some other girls were supposed to arrive and perform some impromptu covers of riot grrrl bands. i had forgotten my bass but was going to use a guitar instead, which seemed like the most brilliant idea in the world.
isabel was working there, and was laying down the rules as far as our beer drinking.
i was...
I woke up from a dream in which I was playing this...
June 2011
11 posts
Sarah Silverman Cat
I met Sarah Silverman. She transformed into a sweet black and white cat. I told her a joke, which I guess she liked, because she butted me affectionately with her head. Then she turned back into a human and became very grave. She lectured me about how cats may seem like they’re having a good time with you but “you can see the confusion behind their eyes”. Some of Sarah’s...
from Nicole
I lived in a nice little community with pretty stone houses on hills. Since I couldn’t remember where my own house was, I started going to another house that was in a shallow valley for a few hours in the afternoons when nobody seemed to be home. I’m not sure where I went the rest of the time. Several days into visiting this house, I showed up, let myself in, and into the room walked...
from Nicole
Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter were my friends and I was crashing on their couch during a road trip. Michael Showalter was a video game addict but not for current games, just really old ones, like Space Invaders. I had to leave in the middle of the night to get back on the road and when I woke them up to say goodbye, I felt so sad that I woke up. I was still sad after I woke up for a...
deception (corrected)
i was a child and lived with my mom in a place whose layout resembled the building i grew up in. my cousins lived on the same floor, and my aunt and uncle and grandma. my cousins and i often heard noises that were mysterious. at one point i realized my mom always went to lock this other door when we left the house, to an apartment no one lived in. one day i wised up, as our whole family left the...
tangerines
an old man got mad because someone had thrown away his tangerines. each one on his tree had a peel that was cut around the circumference (like at the equator of the tangerine) and not attached to the inside, yet whole otherwise. they were all going bad, so people were starting to throw them away. the old man said it was grand larceny, and wanted to sue.
from josh
i thought “i was born to tucson over-delay.”
Kream Mask
In an old castle, my grandma accidentally floods the bathroom one floor above me. Pale blue water drips through the ceiling along the outline of a big square tile. She laughs—I can hear everything she’s saying through the floor—and says something about her Scream mask. “Oops… I mean my KREAM mask.” I already knew that she meant to spell it with a K.
because i'm sensitive
i dreamed that betsy was an actress on a comedy tv show in which her character got fired from her job at the fbi. we see her walking out, file box in hand, stonefaced. next she’s crying facedown in bed. we hear her (she’s pretty good at it) and then she flips over, her face wet with tears, dripping blue eyeliner, and says a few lines that are hilarious while crying (she laughs for one...
popular
I dreamed that I gave slide lectures on Mondays and Fridays in Art History. I accidentally referred to a painter as “popular” instead of “populist.”